Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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