i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
