escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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