so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
