Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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