I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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