You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
