I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
