So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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