Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
