Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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