dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
