I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize