You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
