i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Walk of Shame today included voting.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
