next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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