i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
either way he was missing a nipple.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
