he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
