I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
