yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
