I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
