How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
