Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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