some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My butt remains clenched, sir.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
