dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
