Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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