Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?