i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
