hell yes lets make some ravioli
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Randomize
