Me. At least after what I've been through.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
