I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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