Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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