There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
