Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
