i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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