Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
