My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Randomize
