did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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