He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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