it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
