do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
