When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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