All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
