I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
