why didn't you poke me back
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
