He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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