Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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