think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
