GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
