Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Holy shit dude........stairs
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