I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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