ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I booty called her while she was in labor.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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