Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
