There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
