Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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