Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
